About The Bureau of Apophenia

We are the Vienna Office responsible for Pattern Recognition & Coincidence Enforcement. Your perception is our paperwork. Coincidences are now tax deductible. Continued cooperation is required for your narrative stability.

Our mandate is to track the inevitable convergence of all things meaningless into a singular, catastrophic truth. We wield the rubber stamp of your descent. It is not necessary for you to seek patterns; they will find you.

Hochachtungsvoll,
HR(FH) Mag. Dr. Meyer

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