36 y/o , token cishet, ex-tumblr-user, spoonie, 15 chronic conditions in a trenchcoat, and actual cyborg.

i am white to the point of considering ham salad a valid food item; also a member of the "green fluff is good, actually!" brigade

my CWs are often isekais. also i made a bingo card once

come into my cellar fortunado, i promise there is only a nice vintage of shitpost and i will absolutely not brick you in with walls of text

:blobcatgoogly:

please read the pins before you toss me a follow request! i'd appreciate it, thanks! 💖

header done by gavinwolf formerly of snouts.online

~ * testimonials * ~

"this is why I'm admin and you're the sidekick screaming child" - milly milbert mcmoderator

"this is going in your bio isn't it" - also milly milbert mcmoderator

"we are both 5 pounds of lace stapled to 50 pounds of anxiety" - kat primarina-harpy

"harp is a different breed of shitposter. its like reading a stand-up bit" - cyrene "cyrenesavage.com" savage

"If harp was paid per letter to toot we would never have to worry about money in this friends circle again" - rhys "rhys" rhys

"People have referred to it as a "bit" before but let me tell you: this isn't a bit. Harp is just Like This." - rhys "it's rhys again" rhys

"harp has five thousand letters I am terrified of what she'd do with more" - miss ellie "snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAKE!...mom" ellingbert

"the hot grapes is what makes her do the sins" - rhys "rhys "it's rhys again" rhys" rhys

"a force of absolute chaos and should be feared" - noted radio personality ethan c. retrosocial

"If anybody can uncover the proper etiquette of a classy keg stand, it's Harp. Either through sheer research, or reasoning from first principles." - Commodore Canry DissonantEevee-GlaceonSocial the Third

"Harp, you know i love you, but you're ALWAYS mega cringe" - rhys "rhys "rhys "help I forgot how many I'm nesting now" rhys" rhys" rhys

"You are kind of a trader joes bitch tbh" - supreme goblin coriander

Harp :wigglytuff: